3 Keys To Become a Better Communicator
Today’s post is based on something we do everyday. Some people excel at this, while others are entrenched with fear, nervousness and shyness.
What I am speaking about is communication.
Think back to all the conversations you’ve had this day, this week, this month, or year.
Each day we engage in this incredible process. Our words containing our feelings, emotions and energy. Each word we utter to another person (even unto ourselves) act as seeds that enter our consciousness and blossom in accordance with the force we sent them out with.
Communication is key in our lives. It builds friendships, helps open new opportunities, and allows us to express ourselves, but unfortunately not everyone knows how to communicate effectively.
Let’s look at the underlying problems of poor communication.
Common Causes of Poor Communication
Before we jump into the 3 keys that will improve your communication with others, let’s look into what causes poor communication.
- Stuck In Their Head – One of the major causes of a poor communicator is they shoot down their communication skills in their own mind before uttering a single word to another person. To sharpen your communication skills, you must be willing to drop the limiting beliefs that hold you hostage.
- Scared of How the Other Person May or May Not React – If you speak from a state of fear, worry or doubt, the person you are speaking to will reflect those same feelings back to you. Understanding this, we can begin to approach our conversations with an open mind and heart, without fear of how the other party may or may not react.
- Negative Self Talk – If you are sabotaging your words within your own mind before they see the light of day, you will be sending wounded words out into the world that can negatively affect others and yourself more than you can imagine. The most important conversation taking place, is the one taking place inside of You.
- Separated From the Present – Filling our minds with dread for the future or ills from the past, taints our communication in the present.
- Bad Experiences in the Past – Don’t allow the bad experiences in the past, the heckles, the laughter, being made fun of or any other combination of negative experiences affect the importance of the words you speak today.
3 Keys To Become a Better Communicator
Now that you’re aware of the causes of poor communication, let’s take a look at what causes our communication skills to excel.
#1 – Centered in the Present Moment – The best thing you can do to improve your communication skills with others is to be fully present when you are communicating with them. This may seem obvious, but challenge yourself today to see how present you are when conversing with various people.
Being centered in the present moment means attentive and compassionate listening. It means being willing to intently listen first before speaking, preferably in a peaceful and compassionate way.
#2- Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes – The next conversation you have, before you say a single word put yourself in the other person’s shoes. I encourage you to do this because you’ll see that most people are seeking the same things you are seeking. Things such as appreciation, kindness, to be recognized for who they are and to be respected as a human being.
When you put yourself in another person’s shoes, you take yourself out of your own head and have the opportunity to remind yourself that you’re talking with a human being who has similar needs, feelings and emotions as you.
#3 – Find Common Ground – Now that you’re centered in the present moment, aware of the fact that the people you speak with are more similar to you than you could imagine, it’s time to find some common ground. This involves speaking to the things that not only bring you to life, but speaking to the things that interest and appeal to the other person.
Don’t make your conversations about you, instead focus your conversation around the other person and watch as rapport is immediately established. As Dale Carnegie said in his incredible book, How to Win Friends & Influence People
“Speak to the other person’s interests.”
Never Dismiss the Power of the Big Three:
- A Sincere Compliment
- A Kind Smile
- Eye Contact
The Big Three alone can work wonders for you.
Conscious Activity
To finish this post I’d like to invite you to go out this day and speak with someone new.
Speak consciously while remaining centered in the present moment. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and find common ground to build a beautiful conversation upon.
Adding to these things sincere compliments, a kind smile and eye contact, you may just find that person you’ve been waiting for.
Communication is key.
Gratitude
Be grateful for your ability to connect with others. Find gratitude knowing that your thoughts propel your words and deposit them in the minds of others as well as yourself.
These words can take root and blossom within another person or yourself and create beauty, abundance and peace, just as easily as fear, worry or despair.
Find gratitude knowing that you can begin to communicate from a conscious place within yourself and affect others in a positive way.
Peace
Happiness
Compassion
Respect
Jeffon Seely
Three Key Life