How To Help A Loved One Who Is Suffering

Few know what is hiding in the hearts of others.

Even fewer know what is hiding in those with sinking lives.

I’ve had the experience to witness how someone close to me nearly hit rock bottom, only to watch them rise again into a place of power, sobriety and peace.

Throughout my youth and adolescence, I had the opportunity to be exposed to many walks of life. My father left when I was very young and I witnessed how detrimental that could be for a young boy growing up. Fortunately, I had my mom and grandparents who stepped up and filled the void.

Growing up, however, I noticed my upbringing differed greatly from my friends.

I remember back in junior high when I realized there was a problem. Throughout my youth I lived with both my mom and my grandparents off and on. I always wondered why my friends parents were driving nice cars, buying them the newest clothes and always building or adding to their houses.

I realized during this time that my mom was struggling, dealing with her own demons. I realized that demons hide in many, but it’s not always as obvious.

As experience would have it, my mother’s struggles were becoming more and more apparent as I grew into a young man.

I won’t get too heavy into the details but to put it simply, it was a blessing in disguise.

The reason I choose to call this experience a blessing is because I saw firsthand how a substance could truly affect one’s life in a detrimental way.

It was a blessing because even though we trekked rocky roads, my mom and grandparents always reinforced the importance of love amongst my sisters and I.

It was a blessing because I learned to never give up on someone you love. Never allow the suffering to replace the image of someone whom you know is an incredible person.

I thank my mom for this often, even though she doesn’t always say you’re welcome.

In this post I’d like to share some keys that can help inspire and empower those who are suffering in your life.

We may not have someone close to us who is struggling on a major level, but we may have someone close to us who lacks self-esteem, who is filled with doubt or who doesn’t enjoy life.

Let this short story about my early upbringing remind you that love can pull you through.

It was love that held my mother’s hand as she nearly hit rock bottom. It was love that strengthened her back into health, sobriety and the queen that she’s always been.

Helping Those Who Suffer

The greatest lesson I learned through this 10+ year roller coaster with not only my mom, but my aunt who also suffered severely, was to see the best in people regardless of what the outer experience may be.

I never let my mind sink when I saw my mom suffer. I always knew that the seed of greatness, the seed that helped to bring me into this world was within her.

I knew that I was a product of her and as far as I could see, she was one of the greatest people to walk this earth.

I always chose to see her light shining through her being, even when we were forced to walk through some of the darkest times.

This lesson will be with me forever.

That lesson is to always see people in their highest light, in the most inspired way. In doing so, you allow the person to grow into the being you know they are vs. shrinking them into your view to fit their current reality.

See the best in others.

Learning Through Suffering

One thing my mom’s suffering taught me was that everything happens for a reason.

Understanding this, I learned at a young age not to bash people for the past, instead to embrace and love them in the present.

This was one of the many gems of wisdom this suffering brought me.

Another gem I learned was that I could not control everything. For example, I had no control of what my father did or his reasoning for stepping out of my young life. I also had no control of how my mom spent her money, the people she associated with and the effects of those two things.

I did, however, have full control of how I reacted to them.

So instead of choosing to point a finger and trying to accuse them for their “flaws” I chose to love them for who they were. Realizing that they were doing the best they could at the position they were at in life.

Sometimes we forget how essential everything is that has happened in our lives.

Each experience has served as a stepping stone, helping us grow into the person we are today.

Not only does everything happen for a reason, we have the power to love everyone for who they are and where they are at. Never losing hope or faith that they could, at anytime, blossom into the fullness of their being.

3 Key Ways to Help a Loved One Who Is Suffering

For those of us who are dealing with a loved one who is suffering, I’d like to share a few things we can do to help and empower them:

#1 – See the Best in the One Suffering – We are all projecting our judgments and opinions on nearly everyone and everything. We should learn to do so in an empowering and encouraging way. This is especially important when you see someone you love change and transform in a negative way. Your thoughts and judgements have a way of contributing not only to your life but to the creation of the person you care about. This is why you should focus on seeing the person who suffers as whole, complete, healed and fully loved. Don’t let the outer appearance shake your faith. Transformation is always possible.

#2 – Power of Love – Love has a way of transforming the darkest of situations. Love is the catalyst that helped empower my mother. It is important, however, to not allow the love you have for someone who is addicted or suffering to drain life and energy out from yourself. Sometimes it’s essential for us to love from a distance. Love can travel great distances and can always be felt and received, especially by those in need.

#3 – Drawing the Line But Never Giving Up – One of the most important things I learned while working with my mom through her addiction was realizing that sometimes we have to draw the line. Many who are suffering, especially those who suffer from addiction, are in a constant state of need. Their fluctuating moods have a way of negatively affecting even the strongest minds. That is why we must draw the line. We can only do so much to help them until we start to contribute to their suffering. Drawing the line isn’t something that pushes them off the deep end, it serves as a way that we can support them in the process of healing. Remember, regardless of how low one may sink, never give up on them.

Gratitude

I am grateful I am able to share this story and wisdom with those of you who may be experiencing something similar.

I am grateful for my mom who has been clean for nearly 10 years and continues to be my inspiration and motivation for becoming a better person. Love you mom.

Healing is possible. Love and light can always help to illuminate the path of those who are lost, addicted and suffering.

Love. Don’t give up.

 

Peace

Happiness

Compassion

Respect

 

Jeffon Seely

 

Three Key Life

 

How To Empower and Help a Loved One Who Is Suffering Photo Credit: h.koppdelaney via photopin cc