Becoming An Exceptional Communicator
Family, friends, co-workers, bosses, neighbors, business associates, acquaintances, baristas, waiters, store clerks….. The list goes on.
These are just a few of the people we communicate with on a daily basis.
This obviously doesn’t take into account the constant conversations (thoughts) that occur within our minds throughout our day.
For some, that inner dialogue drowns out the conversations happening in real life.
I recall when I got one of my first jobs after college, every time before I even sat down with a potential client or customer my inner conversation usually killed the deal before it started.
For starters, I entered each meeting bringing my daydreams and fantasies for the future with me. This completely separated me from the present moment.
Then, I thought that what I said would sell itself. Believing this left little time for questions or discussion from the other side of the table.
Unfortunately, because I didn’t change the way I spoke with the people, the results I experienced never changed. I continued approaching each situation with the same foundation.
Long story short, my time as an insurance salesman didn’t last long.
Shy and Self-Conscious To Outgoing and Appreciative
In the years following this life lesson, as trivial as this may sound, I realized everyone’s voice counted.
Including my own.
I noticed simple conversations throughout my day.
I witnessed the people I was talking to were fully emerged in their ideas and topic of conversation. I found that even if I didn’t agree with them, I could still be present enough to listen peacefully and attentively.
Whether I was talking with my dad, my friends or work associates, I realized nearly everyone thought their voice and ideas were the most important in the world.
There was one problem. I didn’t believe mine were.
It wasn’t until I was willing to confront this “self-imposed” fear that I slowly transitioned away from being shy and self-conscious into my true nature.
Bettering My Communication Skills
So what I did was this, I began respecting and appreciating the voice within me, while consciously and intentionally appreciating the words from others.*
Even if I didn’t agree with them 100%.
Their voice is valuable.
*Please note. This didn’t happen overnight by any means, this took introspection, asking deeper questions like, “why am I fearful when speaking in front of others and what prevents me from fully listening to another person?” I believe that the biggest benefit came from developing a spiritual practice in my life (something that helped me see the Life within all).
Since then, my communication skills have grown by leaps and bounds.
I’ve learned to find a space within that I can listen from a reverent state, honoring the words spoken by another.
I recognized that the words I speak to others can empower, inspire and uplift people who may be in a difficult situation.
The most important thing however,
I learned my voice mattered.
Each conversation we have in our life is a gem filled with precious time and energy. Appreciate the gems.
The 3 Most Important Keys To Becoming An Exceptional Communicator
#1 – Be Present – Even if you don’t realize it, the majority of people believe that the words flowing out of their mouths are the most important words uttered in history. One of the most important things we can do when speaking with another person is to be present.
Not just present of where we are or how we’re feeling within, but truly being present, attentively listening, realizing that the conversation taking place between you and another is a once in a lifetime event.
Don’t dismiss it by wishful thinking or daydreaming.
#2 – From Within – Don’t just sputter off words you think people will want to hear, listen first. Listen not just to the words spoken from another person, but listen from within yourself.
Be still and ensure you are attentive to the words another is speaking while being certain that the words you communicate reflect peace, empowerment, encouragement and truth from within yourself.
Let each word you speak honor the Life within you. Let these words flow out from within.
In the words of Don Miguel Ruiz in the 4 Agreements, Speak Impeccable.
May the words you speak empower and uplift vs. cut and deflate.
#3 – Peaceful, Positive and Empowering Self-Talk – The most important conversation taking place in our life is happening inside of ourselves. If you talk negative to yourself, how do you think you’ll speak to another person?
It is important to realize that at times the most negative voice in our life, is our own. Within yourself you are the voice of the oppressor and the oppressed. You are the voice of the victim and the abundant.
The way you speak to yourself dictates not only how you will speak to others, but it also dictates how others speak to you.
3 Additional Questions To Help You Become an Exceptional Communicator
- Am I able to look past the physical person I am speaking with and see the Life and Light within them?
- Are my words reflecting the best of me and sharing my Light with others?
- What is the overall tone of the self-talk happening within? Could I empower that self talk to make it more inspiring, uplifting and encouraging?
Gratitude
Be grateful for all the conversations you have, even those that push you to your limits.
Be grateful for the Life within that empowers you to speak.
Listen to another’s words with an attentive mind and compassionate heart.
Find gratitude knowing that your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s.
Here’s to conscious communication this year and beyond.
Make this year exceptional, invest in yourself.
Peace
Happiness
Compassion
Respect
Jeffon Seely
Three Key Life